Manipulators, There's Too Many of Them
In today’s episode (and blog post), I want to talk about manipulators. Sadly, there are way too many of them in the world, and there are two kinds: the ones who are blissfully ignorant as to how much damage they do to others, and the others that just don’t care.
Recently, a former friend texted me after a couple of years of no contact. I have no idea how this person even found me. I am not friends with them on Facebook, I don’t think they follow me on Instagram and I am not active enough on Twitter to even be visible. They texted me though, so maybe they were just thinking of me? Who knows! I bet they wouldn’t even realize this episode is kind of about them though if do they actually listen to this.
Maybe you don’t know this about me yet, but I don’t actually want to be an a-hole all of the time. But I figured I would give them a chance. “It’s been awhile and maybe they grew up,” was my line of thinking. Unfortunately, they said enough for me to figure out that they haven’t changed. Sadly, it’s mostly because there aren’t enough people that know how to handle a manipulator, or to tell them that how they are acting isn’t ok.
Manipulators hide their ability to mislead. They want things to be easy, so they try to work things to their advantage. Introverts may fall victim to manipulators more because they won’t always call them out on their BS. Manipulators can be the more outgoing and popular, so people tend to naturally like them more, so it’s frustrating when your friends jump on their side.
Do you have a manipulator in your social circle? Here are some questions to ask yourself if you suspect one is lurking among you:
- Is there an imbalance in your conversations?
- Are you supposed to be on call for them, but that doesn’t go both ways?
- Do they try to turn people against you if you disagree with them?
- Do they try to create drama or force you to choose sides in everyday situations?
- Do their needs and challenges take precedence over yours?
- Do they try to get attention by one-upping you on the good or bad aspects of their life?
- Do they seem more interested in the bad in your life rather than the good?
There are some resources to try and help manage manipulators. One book I like is called “Boundaries” by and you can find the link here. That is an affiliate link, but I am not really trying to sell you anything. I read the book, liked it, and then got the affiliate link. Also, my free email course Getting To Your No, is available on my email list. This course will give you tips on learning to say no and develop your boundaries. Check it out! And lastly, I have a blog post that gives two tips for introverts to set boundaries.
Thank you for listening, and as always, feel free to comment or leave a donation by clicking here, and subscribe to the podcast.