2 Key Ways to Set Boundaries as an Introvert
We all have varying degrees of boundaries, what we will and won’t accept.
Our boundaries are commonly found in our routines. We have a consistent pattern for times when we wake up and go to bed. We understand what days we need to work and others that are free.
While those boundaries are ingrained in us, we often forget to lay the same groundwork for setting boundaries with people in our lives. And sometimes we have to adopt stronger boundaries for certain people.
Some people are givers, some are takers, but most of us are in between. What happens when we find people who are extreme takers, depleting our energy and time?
Whether we admit it or not, we all want to be well-liked to a certain extend. We yearn to belong, to be invited to things and included. But that need can’t get in the way of your safety and health.
How do you set boundaries as an introvert and stand your ground for what you will and won’t accept?
Understand WHAT is in your environment
Does watching the nightly news upset you? Is social media too distracting? The things you surround yourself with can have as big of an impact on you as people do.
Are you in tune with how your environment is making you feel? There are certain boundaries we all set with what we will accept in our home, our car, and our workplace. These boundaries are healthy and can act as a “warmup” for setting boundaries with people.
Assess WHO is in your environment
Setting boundaries with people is tough because they can push back and question you in a way physical spaces or things can’t.
Some people want something different than what you’re willing to give. Others don’t understand why you have boundaries at all and some just breeze past them without a thought.
It can be in subtle ways that aren’t malicious, too. You may have a relative that volunteers you for things without even asking. They may not know things are busy at work and you need your R&R time.
If you decline their invitation, they might focus more of their attention on feeling like it reflects on them rather than understanding why it is that you declined. You can’t control their feelings but you can control your reaction, which is influenced by the boundaries you set.
For others, they are just set their ways. They can be a blast to hang out with, but can’t be truly trusted because you never know if they’ll show up. They can even be apologetic but it only takes a few months to realize that nothing changes.
These descriptions all fit the Toxic Archetypes I lay out in my email course, Detox Your Relationships.
As introverts, we need to learn how to set better boundaries and teach others how to treat us. Chances are the 8 Toxic Archetypes in the course will sound eerily familiar…
The purpose of Detox Your Relationships isn’t to kick anyone with toxicity to the curb. It’s a course in helping you understand the motivations behind each archetype and know when to live with them or without them.
Take the power back in your relationships! Click here to learn more about the course.
Ultimately, you need to set clear boundaries that fit your exact needs.
Because of our unique personalities, we find ourselves on the spectrum of boundaries.
Some of us have stronger boundaries than others with specific people or in specific environments, and that’s okay. Whatever makes you the most comfortable and happy is the most important thing.
Don’t let anyone try to guilt you into changing your boundaries or letting go of them altogether just because it’s inconvenient to them. Stay strong and remember why you need boundaries to live your life to the fullest.
What boundaries have you set in your own life this month? How have they alleviated stress and helped you grow in your relationships? Tell us in the comment section below!