We Can't Change Who We Are Fundamentally

Oh the idea of changing ourselves! We all want to do better in life, right? You are all upgrade. We all try to just do better. You want to get smarter. You want to get healthier, and all these different things! Well I have recently encountered some people who really don’t like who/how they are fundamentally and wishing they could change it. But you know you cannot really change who you are! 

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Remember, who you are is perfectly fine; there is nothing that really needs to be changed. You can do certain things to better yourself; but I feel that certain things that are fundamentally who we are cannot be changed. Sometimes we get pressure to change ourselves because of our outward appearances or because it makes our lives easier. Ideally though, changing is not really the solution; sometimes we should appreciate why we cannot change some things about us.

So here are my four reasons why you can’t change who you are:

  1. There is no fixing fundamental facts about ourselves. There is nothing wrong with who you are. Sure you can do an upgrade, like perhaps coloring your hair, but remember, remaining how you are doesn’t make you any less of a good person. You can’t change it; that’s just who you are!

  2. You can change actions and behavior or reaction to things, but you can’t change who you are. For example, fundamentally I love dogs. But not all dogs like being petted (especially by strangers). So ideally, I would be careful t not to pet every other dog, but it still doesn’t change the fact that I love dogs.

  3. Most things really aren’t as important as we make them out to be. Everything shouldn’t have to be taken personally. Ideally, try to take some things with a pinch of salt with regard to people’s actions. People sometimes do things just because, it is not that big of a deal! For example, I don’t drink. I sometimes hang out at bars with friends who drink, but ideally, they shouldn’t be personally offended by the fact that I don’t drink along with them. As long as my interactions with them remain decent, that is okay!

    Side note: If you are a recovering alcoholic, stay away from triggering environments more for your own safety and for your health especially if you can’t handle it at that time. 

  4. It doesn’t make you any good or bad. Whether it is about your religion/ ethnicity/ nationality/ sexual orientation, or some other fact, what is important is that neither of these things make you any better (or worse) than the next person. The fundamental things about you do not make you any less of a person. You should accept yourself for who/ how you are.