Being a Better Person Doesn't Mean You Have to be Less Introverted

Growing older means growing as a person. I don’t know if this topic came to mind because of New Year’s, or my birthday, or for other reasons, but most of us want to be better people. We try to do that as every year goes by or when we try new things. It also comes from constructive criticism in our lives. For example, when someone tells us we were insensitive or rude, we want to know so that we can change and grow. No one is ever completely done learning in life and we don’t purposely rub people the wrong way.

Being a better person doesn't mean you have to be less introverted

There are a still a lot of people out there who think introversion is something we need to change about ourselves, that there is something severely wrong with us, almost to the same point as Autism and mental illness. For some reason, it is so inconvenient to other people that they don’t care what we need in order to be happy and healthy. They want us to fit into the “norm” so that we don’t make other people uncomfortable. Honestly, that is very selfish, which is funny since people accuse introverts of being selfish for wanting to have alone time or not do things like everyone else wants. Somehow them being comfortable is more important than us being happy and healthy.


You don’t have to act or be different to be a better person

Being a better person doesn’t mean you have to be less introverted. You don’t have to be talkative or bubbly, there are no set guidelines despite what other people think. You can learn the skills on how to see a point in a conversation where you can say something and how not to interrupt people when you need to say something. Being an introvert is part of who you are.

I used to not like conferences because they’re loud and overwhelming for me. I enjoyed what was going on there and I learned how to figure out what I needed to do to not be overwhelmed while learning, talking, and interacting.

Bettering yourself is not a performance

I feel like there’s this thing out there that if you’re bettering yourself, everyone is supposed to know. Honestly, you don’t need to tell other people, you don’t need their opinion, and you don’t need to post updates so people can see your progress. You can be as private as you want. You don’t need a committee telling you what to do or how to do it. Sometimes they don’t like that you change either. People can’t stand that you are bettering themselves and may move forward faster than they do.

Somehow what we need to change doesn’t trump anything they need to change

We all need to grow and change. I’ve seen it too many times where people don’t think I should apologize because I’m the introvert, the one who is the odd person out, and they tell me to be nicer even when they are rude. They could be really rude, but because I didn’t do what they wanted me to do and don’t fit the norm, I’m more wrong than they are. In their minds, whoever was the most wrong is the one who needs to apologize or change. That is ridiculous because it’s not a contest. So, if we both do something wrong, I have no problem apologizing and growing from it. However, I refuse to be a scapegoat, to be the one it is all blamed on.

Being a better person doesn’t mean you have to be less introverted. We’re all learning and growing. You need to do it for yourself and care a little less what everyone else thinks. You need to change and grow to make yourself a better person, to make yourself happy, and not be focused on what makes everyone else comfortable. That comfort means nothing, except putting everyone in boxes so that people don’t have to grow and can stay the same forever.

Honestly, no one really fits in due to the way society is built to always be putting someone down. We all get put down at some point, so there’s no point in worrying about what other people think.