You're Not For Everyone
Not everyone can be friends. That might be a little hard for some people to swallow, especially since nobody actively tries not to fit in and least of all those of us who are in the margin. It hurts, it sucks, and it seems unfair.
The bottom-line is that not everyone is a good friend for everyone else. It could be caused by hundreds of different reasons, like they don’t get your humor, they don’t like the way you laugh, they saw you at a party that their ex was at, or you simply don’t vibe right together. The reasons don’t always make sense and even the smallest reason can turn someone off from us. I’ve even had someone dislike my husband because he didn’t love their breed of dog as much as they did.
As introverts, or anyone who doesn’t fit in, it feels unfair to have yet another barrier when we’re making friends, but it’s not necessarily a bad thing. There is no work around or technique to handle it. No one is universally liked. I want to use Oprah as an example. Not everyone loves her, even if it seems like everyone does. There are stupid reasons some people don’t like her and she doesn’t get bent out of shape about it. She does what she does and focuses on those who do love her. You may wish you could get along with and be friends with certain people, but sometimes you just can’t. I know I would love to make more friends, but everyone I surround myself with helps me in some way and I’m okay with that. It’s what I need in life right now. It can feel awful in the moment, but you will be fine too.
When you’re young, you have no other reference and you also have a lot of hormones. It’s hard to realize that you can get through someone not wanting to be your friend because it feels personal to you. It might even be hard to accept now if you are older.
You don’t need hundreds of friends. Over time, you will figure out what is really important and what you need to put your energy towards, because the people who can’t be your friends don’t matter. The people who are close to you deserve your energy and it takes time to figure out where you want that energy to go. Some people learn it quicker than others. You will find the people in your life that love you no matter what, and friends who will watch out for you and help you grow.
Not being friends with everyone is not a horrible thing. I personally love simplicity. Take your time and figure out who deserves your time and energy. Just like you aren’t for everyone, you’re also going to have people you don’t like or want to be friends with. There doesn’t even need to be anything big or deep about it either. All you need to do is move on and focus on the friends you are able to give your energy to.